pele:

longlivethequeen:

srsly:

noonish:

“The other day I was trying to get all my friends for dinner and I ended up having to feed them both my blood and my body. One of them betrayed me now I am hung in between two thieves for apparently trying to be King of the Jews. Thanks Dad, FML.”

“Tried to go to the White people highschool today. They were literally all racist and I had to have cops escort me to my classes. FML.”

“Tried to get a job today, was told no Irish need apply and was told to go die from eating nothing but potatoes, if I was lucky. FML”

“Totally won some awesome Nobel prize, can’t really bask in my glory though, remember the pretty blue-green light that those substances gave off in the dark? Turns out they are bad for you. FML”

Re-Blog and add your own.

Today, I discovered the Philippines. Turns out they’re not down with that. I got killed by their leader, Lapu-Lapu. I got killed by a man named after a fish. FML.

Hey! I remember writing this! I thought everything on the internet immediately disappears. Cool that it came back up on my dashboard after so long.

“Whose your favorite beatle? WHY?”

Anyone but Ringo. It changes. I’ve seen Paul live and love his “IGODDAFEELIN!” screaming voice, but I think I like John’s antics the most. George is probably the coolest and looks the most like me though, so it’s a true toss up.

“Who is your tumblr default picture man? Why him?”

My default picture is Hulk Hogan sipping some tea. I choose him because it was something I liked early in my tumblr days, and grew up with a huge passion for wrestling and being fancy.

“What’s the greatest thing about noontime?”

It’s a great time to make plans or sleep till.

“What book should I read?”

Swiss Family Robinson.

“That was the sound of a tool chest, falling down the the stairs.”

That was a quote from Home Alone. I am surprised I knew that immediately.

SEND ME A MESSAGE I SWEAR I WILL LOVE IT.